St. Louis Wedding Photographer
I'll tell you the truth about a care free wedding day.
It's actually really easy you guys, let's talk about it. As a photographer who likes to step into the day with my couple as opposed to living on the outside of it to direct and fabricate, I know how quickly the day can go from care free, easy breezy to a big old mess. After 5 years of experience and countless weddings worked here are some of my best tips for a carefree day!
Like your day depends on it (because it quite literally does)! Let me tell you what I mean by vet your vendors. It is truly all about the discovery phase. When searching for your ideal vendors (for the sake of your time and theirs) only reach out to vendors you feel you are in initial and immediate alignment with! Make sure their work is your vibe, make sure their product is something you can see yourself in. This might look like surfing their site, reading their reviews, following them and consuming their content on social media, getting on their email list. Do you fit into their audience, do you feel like their work is being marketed directly to you? What is their branding like? What is their tone like on social media? How do they present themselves as a professional? If any of these things feel off or not aligned to you, keep it moving. Why? Because if it's not an absolute yes in this early phase then it is an absolute no. There IS a vendor out there for you, perfectly aligned with your wants and your needs. You just have to find them. Reaching out to anyone and everyone will quickly exhaust you and you will be in decision fatigue hearing back from 17 different florists when you still have 5 other vendors to book. Find a few people you LOVE, your dream vendors, dive into everything they have to offer, make sure it's a match, and then send your inquiry. As a wedding vendor I can tell you there is no greater feeling than to be contacted by someone who is familiar with you, familiar with your work, and knows you are the only vendor for them. Think about the things you need, you know you better than anyone else. Are you laid back and needing someone to match that energy on wedding day? Perfect, then I probably wouldn't give a second thought to the planner posting behind the scenes reels of them directing family portraits like Army boot camp. Or maybe you're a little too laid back and know you will want and need that structure on wedding day to stay organized, if so then that planner may be a great fit for you! What you don't want is to skip this discovery phase completely, book the first vendor who is available within budget, and then find out on wedding day that they do not fit seamlessly into your day!
So picture it. You start your hunt for a videographer, you spend a few days scrolling Instagram looking at all the talent your area has to offer. You look through 100's of pages but keep coming back to the same few that are speaking to you in a way none of the others are. You check out their socials and their sites. You feel aligned, you love their social presence, you love their work, their service speaks to you and you see yourself being a client of theirs. You reach out to 2 or 3 of them interested to learn more and just hoping they are available for your date because it's them or nothing. The initial reach out is so good, you schedule a call and chat like old friends, they don't feel like a stranger because you did the work in finding someone you knew you loved from the first impression. They are available and you talk next steps. You book without hesitation and on wedding day that professional shows up for you in a way only they can. You are proud to have them represent you and your day, your guests love them and the final product is more than you could have ever imagined because they didn't only provide a service but an entire experience! See how much better this sounds than searching google, finding the first 10 videographers listed, inquiring with all of them without knowing anything about them, booking them because they are available and cheaper then the other guys and then what? They show up late in street clothes because that's their typical uniform as seen on their page but you missed it. They aren't personable or invested in your experience, they are off putting to your guests, their work ethic isn't admirable, they didn't do the work to connect with you and your vision, and your final product reflects all of that. Ew. I do not want that for you!! Vet your vendors, do your homework, create a team focused and driven to serve you to the best of their ability!! This team will orchestrate your entire day, you will spend A LOT of time with them, your experience depends on how you do your hiring.. Do yourself a favor and make sure they are right for you before one of, if not the most important day of your life!
The second most damaging thing to a smooth, care free wedding day is a minute by minute timeline (along with anyone who strictly enforces them). Yes a timeline is important, it gives us a map of your day "first this then this", it gives your vendors arrival and departure times, it tells your guests where to be and when to be there. It outlines big moments like ceremony and reception start times, cocktail hour, and dinner. Those are all great things, we need that! What we do not need is a minute by minute play by play, a script that turns your wedding day into a 12 hour performance instead of a day meant for living and making memories. As a photographer I can personally say the days that turn into all day photo shoots are the least enjoyable for every single person involved. From the grooms grandma right on down to the flower girl, I promise no one wants to be needed for photos for even 2 hours straight (and I've seen much worse). I have first hand experience of working with planners who order the bride around all day long to meet strict and unrealistic time constraints. Times where everything is chill, we're behind as far as a timeline goes but the bride is blissfully unaware, nothing will happen without her but it will always still happen. Whether that is right now or 20 minutes from now, it will all. still. happen. And here comes the maid of honor busting down the door stressing out the bride by telling her we are an hour behind. Now we are 3 hours pre ceremony with an (understandably) emotional bride who won't be able to relax and enjoy her day until she has her first foot on the aisle because she's now been convinced that she'll be late for her own wedding. (Don't worry that didn't happen and we got her calmed down) Are there times we might do some game day rearranging to fit everything in? Yup. Is that means for stress? Nope. Keep the timeline simple, hire experienced vendors you trust, surround yourself with people who will pour good into your day, and maybe if you know grandma Mary will be a handful, give her the ceremony start time only and we'll get her portrait during cocktail hour (only real world examples here hehehe).
We will keep this one short and sweet, no over thinking it. When booking vendors that sell their service by the hour, decide what you will need at a minimum and then never book that package. Book more. I'll tell you why from your photographer's point of view. You booked 6 hours of photography, I don't even offer a 6 hour package for wedding days to protect my couples from this, but in this scenario say I did. I arrive the morning of and I don't shoot any details because you decided candids were more important. It's not that you didn't want those detail photos, like the inspiration you have had saved for months on your Pinterest board, you just didn't have the time. You skip the first look that you wanted with your dad and your bridesmaids. It's not that you didn't want those photos, those first moments of your closest loved ones seeing you as a bride for the first time, you just didn't have the time. You narrow your family photo list down to your absolute must haves. It's not that you didn't want to include those other family members, to get those once in a lifetime portraits, you just didn't have the time. You miss your cocktail hour in order to shoot more portraits that we could have shot earlier in the day. It's not that you didn't want to walk and mingle and enjoy some celebration with your favorite people, you just didn't have the time. You wanted to sneak away with your honey at sunset to have a few uninterrupted moments together, to soak up the day and the exact feelings you want to remember forever, but you couldn't because you just didn't have the time. You wanted the grand exit pictures you see everywhere with your grandpa's vintage car, the one he saved for years and passed down for moments just like these, but you have to pass on those too because you just didn't have the time. See how this is just not ideal for your vision, the memories you want, the traditions you want to carry on, the photos you will look back or for years to come, even the photos you didn't know you wanted but would get with just a little more time? Afford your vendors the time to truly piece together your dream service. That is all we want for you! Your pianist, your photographer, your videographer, your live painter, the martini bar. They want the time to bring their service to life, and your experience will benefit from that time, I promise.
Remember that strict timeline we talked about a minute ago? When you don't have a lot of time to work with it's easy to feel like you have to rely on a very detailed timeline to make the most out of your day. Avoid this by booking your vendors for a comfortable amount of time, not a minimum amount of time!
So many more quick (and free) tips I could add here but I don't want to overwhelm you! If you are in the St. Louis area and currently searching for a photographer who will prioritize a day that not only provides timeless, documentary style photos but also a relaxed and enjoyable day of experience, check out my page (assure we are a match right?! stalk meee) and then send an inquiry! I would love to connect with you and serve you in providing your dream photo experience! No stress, no rush, just real moments documented exactly how you lived them (whether we were on time or not)!
